Can My Child Decide Who To Live With?

Sterling Law Office • September 17, 2024

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If you and your partner are planning to separate, this is one of the first questions to come up. 

Can your child decide who they want to live with? While as a parent you want to respect your child’s choices, it might bring up concerns. 

You may worry whether their decision is based on emotion or if they’re being influenced by the other parent. You may also question their stability, school life, and overall well-being. 

Ontario family law prioritizes the child’s best interests. If parents can’t agree, the court gives more weight to the child’s preference. So to answer your question – yes , your child can decide who they want to live with after separation. 

Is There a Legal Age?

There is no fixed legal age in Ontario when a child can decide which parent to live with. The Family Law Act and the Children’s Law Reform Act emphasize that a child’s best interests should always come first. Opinions of older children carry more weight in front of law. However, just because your child wants to live full-time with one parent, doesn’t mean that the court will automatically grant that verdict. 

Can My Child Choose to Live with One Parent Full-Time?

Children can’t legally decide who to live with until they turn 18, the age of majority in Ontario. Until then, the courts will handle any dispute related to custody (now known as parenting time and decision-making responsibility). If your child is 16 or 17 years of age and the court feels they are mature to make a decision, then yes, your child can decide to live with one parent full-time. 

Our family lawyers at Sterling Law are here to help you handle complex custody situations. Please request a free consultation today. 

How Does the Court Determine What’s Best for My Child?

In custody cases, Ontario courts focus on the “best interests of the child” standard. This means they don’t base decisions on what the parents want or who has the best argument.

Instead, they’ll evaluate what’s best for the child’s overall well-being. Here are some factors that play a role: 

  1. Emotional Well-being : Does the child have a loving relationship with each parent? Does the child feel protected and loved at home? 
  2. Involvement of Parents : How involved has each parent been in the child’s life? Do they help with school work, attend school and extracurricular events, and participate in day-to-day activities? 
  3. Sibling Relationships : If the child has siblings, the court may want to prioritize keeping the children together unless there’s a compelling reason not to.
  4. Living Arrangements : The court will look for a home environment that’s safe, nurturing, and financially stable. 
  5. School and Community Ties : Will moving away from one parent affect their school life, friendships, and community participation? 

Support your children through this transition 

Children often blame themselves for their parents’ separation or divorce. In some cases, they may act out or make emotional statements in hopes of keeping their family together. If your child has been rebelling or threatening to leave, stay calm and patient. 

Reassure your child that the separation isn’t their fault. Let them know both parents love them and will make decisions that prioritize their well-being.

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Conversely, a paying parent may face financial hardship due to a job loss or injury, making existing payments unsustainable. At Sterling Law, founded in 1992 by Helen Sterling Clarke, we provide the comfort and support you need during these challenging transitions. With over 30 years of experience serving Brampton, Toronto, and the Greater Toronto Area (GTA), our client-focused approach ensures that your needs—and the needs of your children—are our primary result. The Legal Framework: The Child Support Guidelines In Toronto and throughout Ontario, child support is not a matter of guesswork. It is governed by the Child Support Guidelines. These are a set of rules and tables used to determine the amount of support a paying parent must contribute. The underlying principle of Ontario law is that children have a legal right to benefit from the financial means of both parents. This right belongs to the child, not the parent, which means child support cannot be "waived" or negotiated away in a manner that leaves the child with insufficient resources. Who is the Payor? Typically, the parent with whom the child lives most of the time is the "Recipient," and the parent who lives outside the primary home is the "Payor." However, the definition of a parent in Ontario is broad. Sometimes the payor is not the biological parent but someone who has "stood in the place of a parent" (often referred to as in loco parentis ), such as a step-parent who has formed a significant parental bond with the child. Step 1: Calculating "Base" Child Support (The Table Amount) The first component of child support is often referred to as Base Child Support. This is a fixed monthly amount intended to cover the child's basic necessities, such as food, clothing, and shelter. How the Table Works The amount of base support is determined by three main factors: The Payor’s Annual Income: This is usually based on the "Total Income" line of their T1 General Income Tax Return from the previous year. The Number of Children: The amount increases with each additional child. The Province of Residence: Because the cost of living and tax rates vary by province, Ontario has its own specific tables. For example, a parent in Toronto earning $70,000 per year with two children will pay a different "Table Amount" than a parent earning $100,000 with one child. Parenting Time Arrangements The calculation can shift depending on the living situation: Primary Care: If the child spends more than 60% of their time with one parent, the other parent typically pays the full Table Amount. 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Decisive Action: We move quickly to protect your financial rights and assert the needs of your children, aiming for the most positive outcome possible. Our reputation in the Region of Peel and the GTA is built on client-focused service. We understand that every family is unique, and we listen to what is important to you to find the most effective legal path forward. Take Control of Your Financial Well-Being Navigating the Child Support Guidelines in Toronto can be complex, but you don't have to do it alone. Whether you are seeking fair support for your child or need to adjust your payments to reflect your current reality, having an experienced legal team is essential. Why Choose Sterling Law? With over three decades of experience, Helen Sterling Clarke and her team specialize in empowering families. We offer full or partial representation (unbundled legal services) to fit your specific needs and budget. 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You Have a Significant Inheritance or Family Trust Under Ontario law, inheritances received during a marriage are generally excluded from equalization— unless they are put into the matrimonial home or comingled with family funds. An agreement ensures that family wealth stays within your bloodline and is protected from unintentional equalization. 3. This is a Second Marriage For those entering a relationship later in life, you likely have more assets and, potentially, children from a previous marriage. A contract is vital to ensure that your "Legacy" is preserved for your children while still being fair to your new spouse. The Sterling Law Approach: Sophisticated and Strategic With over 30 years of experience, we at Sterling Law understand that we are working with real people with unique situations and aspirations. We don't believe in "cookie-cutter" legal documents. We offer tailored strategies grounded in financial acumen and empathy. 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