Can My Child Decide Who To Live With?

If you and your partner are planning to separate, this is one of the first questions to come up. 

Can your child decide who they want to live with? While as a parent you want to respect your child’s choices, it might bring up concerns. 

You may worry whether their decision is based on emotion or if they’re being influenced by the other parent. You may also question their stability, school life, and overall well-being. 

Ontario family law prioritizes the child’s best interests. If parents can’t agree, the court gives more weight to the child’s preference. So to answer your question – yes , your child can decide who they want to live with after separation. 

There is no fixed legal age in Ontario when a child can decide which parent to live with. The Family Law Act and the Children’s Law Reform Act emphasize that a child’s best interests should always come first. Opinions of older children carry more weight in front of law. However, just because your child wants to live full-time with one parent, doesn’t mean that the court will automatically grant that verdict. 

Children can’t legally decide who to live with until they turn 18, the age of majority in Ontario. Until then, the courts will handle any dispute related to custody (now known as parenting time and decision-making responsibility). If your child is 16 or 17 years of age and the court feels they are mature to make a decision, then yes, your child can decide to live with one parent full-time. 

Our family lawyers at Sterling Law are here to help you handle complex custody situations. Please request a free consultation today. 

In custody cases, Ontario courts focus on the “best interests of the child” standard. This means they don’t base decisions on what the parents want or who has the best argument.

Instead, they’ll evaluate what’s best for the child’s overall well-being. Here are some factors that play a role: 

1. Emotional Well-being : Does the child have a loving relationship with each parent? Does the child feel protected and loved at home? 
2. Involvement of Parents : How involved has each parent been in the child’s life? Do they help with school work, attend school and extracurricular events, and participate in day-to-day activities? 
3. Sibling Relationships : If the child has siblings, the court may want to prioritize keeping the children together unless there’s a compelling reason not to.
4. Living Arrangements : The court will look for a home environment that’s safe, nurturing, and financially stable. 
5. School and Community Ties : Will moving away from one parent affect their school life, friendships, and community participation? 

Children often blame themselves for their parents’ separation or divorce. In some cases, they may act out or make emotional statements in hopes of keeping their family together. If your child has been rebelling or threatening to leave, stay calm and patient. 

Reassure your child that the separation isn’t their fault. Let them know both parents love them and will make decisions that prioritize their well-being.

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